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If you’re looking for a completely different vacation idea this year,
why not try a nudist holiday? It may seem outrageous at first, but
read on. It might change your life!
It’s that time of year when my loved one and myself set aside an
evening to open a bottle of wine and discuss one of the most
significant events in the Egger family calendar, to whit, the Great
Annual Holiday.
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As always, the first decision we have to make is whether we choose
nude or not. As confirmed nudists, we naturally favour a naturist
vacation, or at least a vacation during which we can get naked for
part of the time. However it’s not an automatic choice and this year
there is a particularly tempting selection of textile holidays on
offer. There’s a Mediterranean cruise that looks appealing, and the
Rocky Mountain Rail Adventure takes my eye. Maybe we should support
one of the Indian Ocean countries devastated by the Boxing Day
Tsunami, or stay at home and redecorate (ugh!) However, we’ll
probably choose nude, and here’s six reasons why.
Reason # 1
Getting naked, even for a short time, can help save your life!
I’m not being overly dramatic here. It really seems that divesting
yourself of tight, restrictive clothing that impedes the natural
flow of blood and lymphatic fluid may be a real life-saver.
According to researchers, wearing a bra can cause all manner of
unpleasantness, including soreness and even breast cancer. The (admittedly
preliminary) research suggests that ladies who wear bras for more
than twelve hours each day except for bed, are 21 times more likely
to get breast cancer than those who wear bras less than twelve hours
per day. And listen to this— those who wear bras even in bed are125
times more likely to get breast cancer than those who don't wear
bras at all! In cultures where ladies don’t wear bras, the incidence
of breast cancer is about the same as it is for men – virtually
zero!
And it's not only the ladies who are at risk. The same research
suggests that testicular cancer in men may be caused by tight briefs.
So, divesting yourself of bra and briefs, even for the short period
of your nudist holiday, could keep you much healthier.
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Reason # 2
Less clothes = less luggage = less hassle.
Have you ever noticed how when you’re packing for a holiday you can
never seem to have enough clothes? And how you’ll then spend the
equivalent of the cost of the vacation on essential garments brought
especially for the holiday? Yet, during your stay you find you’ve
ended up with twice the clothes you need? It’s spooky isn’t it? Don’t
ask me why it works that way – probably some unexplained Law of
Nature - but it happens EVERY TIME.
Except on a nudist holiday.
It’s as if nudist holidays turn natural laws on their head. The
scramble to cover every eventuality clothes-wise is replaced by a
disdain for apparel bordering on the obsessive. My normal textile
two page-packing list is reduced to just four lines, viz:
- Suitable clothing for travelling.
- sufficient smart slinky dresses for evening wear.
- Shorts/skirt/tee-shirt for any non-nudist (referred to in
nude-speak as “textile”) excursions.
- And, ummm… well that’s about it really.
The immediate effect of this textile trimming is that my luggage,
which is normally equal in volume to a medium-sized car, consists of
just one small suitcase. (OK, two, if you count the other one which
contains life-saving items such as hairdryer, make-up, skin creams,
lipsticks, jewellery etc – gosh, a girl has to look her best, even
in the buff hasn’t she?) Not only does this make for easier carrying
and a swifter get-away from the luggage carousel, it also saves on
tips. The largesse I would otherwise have to distribute just to
transport my baggage train to the hotel would feed a family of five
for a month. A spin off from this is that less clothing also means
less packing and unpacking, leaving more time for drinking wine and
dozing by the pool, which is the whole idea of a holiday in the
first place.
Well it’s mine, anyway
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Reason # 3
Skin doesn’t stain.
Our skin is wonderful. Not only is it the largest organ of our body,
but it always fits perfectly (OK. Sometimes some of us may have a
just a little more than is necessary, but you know what I mean.)
Happily, it’s also easier to keep clean than fabric. My husband has
a particular fondness for crépes – you know, those pancake things
with fillings you can buy from roadside kiosks around the Med? He'd
eat 'em all day if I let him. Unfortunately he also has a tendency
to lose the syrup filling down his front, which has led to more
ruined shirts than would fill a steamer trunk.
A nudist holiday neatly sidesteps this problem. Whilst maple syrup
may not be particularly easy to remove from a naked chest –
especially a hirsute male one – it ‘s a whole lot easier than
washing it out of a silk or cotton shirt. Nor does it leave a stain,
except for a livid red mark across the torso after the treacle has
been scrubbed from the chest hair, but that’s the price men pay for
being so clumsy. (In the interests of equality, I have to concede
that this is not just a male quirk. After a bottle or two I have
been known to distribute red wine down my bosom with something
approaching gay abandon, rendering any affected clothing null and
void in the process. However I insist that this is not clumsiness on
my part, but merely the result of my being tired and emotional. So
there.)
Reason # 4
It makes more sense to be naked on a beach than to wear a bathing
costume.
Let’s face it. A bathing costume serves no useful purpose. It doesn’t
keep us dry, or warm, and doesn’t even help us to swim: studies by
the West German Olympic swim team showed that swimsuits actually
hamper a swimmer. They're not even healthy. Ticks and sea lice that
bite or sting and which find nowhere to hide on a nude body are
easily trapped in a bathing suit.
So why do we wear ‘em
To preserve one’s modesty? Hardly. These days mens' costumes are
brief enough but ladies bathers are positively miniscule, containing
less fabric than a small handkerchief. Bikini tops afford less
coverage than two postage stamps on a string, and in any case are
rarely worn on European beaches. Bikini bottoms just cover the
genitals but often leave the bottom exposed.
Which also means they don't protect you from the sun's harmful UV
rays.
Yet according to a survey carried out by the Ladies’ Home Journal
Americans spend $900,000,000 each year on bathing costumes, although
eighty-five percent of all swimsuits purchased never touch the
water.
Doesn't make a lot of sense does it?
Reason 5
Nudist holiday resorts are nice places with nice people
Every nudist knows that genuine nudists are very nice people. What
makes nudist especially nice remains a mystery. Perhaps nudism
attracts the pleasantest individuals in the first place, or maybe
the practice of nudism somehow improves people. Who knows? And
really, who cares? Let’s just enjoy the situation. You can leave an
unlocked car at a nudist holiday resort and nothing will be taken. Nudist
holiday
resorts and beaches tend to be orderly, well behaved places. Even at
a nudist holiday city such as Cap d'Agde, containing some 40000
people at the height of the season, there is none of the threatening
atmosphere, violence and general loutishness that disfigures other
holiday hot-spots. Any sort of crime is almost non-existent, and
most large complexes, even Cap d’Agde, need no more than minimal
security.
You don’t get that at Benidorm or Palm Springs!
Reason #6
Nudist holiday entrepreneurs need our support.
Despite estimates that the world nude travel business is worth some
four hundred million USD annually and growing fast, the nudist
holiday industry is still a fragile plant that needs encouragement
and support. The fine nudist holiday resorts that cater to the nudist
holidaymaker today are a far cry from the primitive camps that were
available in the not too distant past, and by attracting the new
generation of vacationers who demand a certain standard of comfort,
are in a large part responsible for the growth of the nude leisure
industry. However, quality costs money, and these resorts are
businesses, not charities. Unless we continue to support them they’ll
close, and we’ll return to the old clapped out, run down,
make-do-and-mend compounds of yesteryear. As the old saying goes,
you have to use ‘em or lose ‘em
So, it looks as if we’ll choose nude again this year. All we have to
do is to decide where. Wait a minute. I’ve just had a wonderful
idea. Perhaps we can support the Tsunami appeal and please ourselves
at the same time by going nude in Thailand. That’s it! Brilliant.
Now, then, where are those brochures…?
Copyright Liz Egger 2005
From :
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/travel_and_leisure/article_1343.shtml
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